Perfect skin... The silkiest brunette locks of her... The curves. Her scent was everywhere as he took her. His mate.

This feeling was by far the best he had ever felt. Like the gift from the moon goddess that it was meant to be. She was in his arms again and his heart was finally whole. Her strong legs were wrapped around him as he raced for that pinnacle that he knew was coming, and she kept screaming his name.

Ascian... Ascian...

Sweetest fucking words he had ever heard from any woman’s lips. He felt her muscles tightening just before she started to cum, and he couldn’t fight his own release. It was endless.

And then he was hard again immediately. He took her over and over with no thought. He let her cries fill him as their bond brought out the most intense feelings. She was so uninhibited that she was amazing to watch. Her claws marked him all down his back, all over his chest that he wished they wouldn’t heal so quickly and he could wear them as a badge of honor.

And then his mate was finally sated. She had a huge smile on her face as he finally released her.

And then everything darkened. The room felt so cold as he opened his mouth. Something in him was screaming for him to stop, not just something it was his wolf who was begging him to stop but those words tumbled from his lips.

“I, Ascian Lucas, don’t need a luna. I reject you, Mirela Elizabeth as my mate.”

The pain rocked through his body at the same time it ripped his mate apart. Her beautiful face crumbled before she curled up in pain.

But the words didn’t stop. They kept repeating like a bad record. The room darkened, the shadows swirling around him even as the pain broke him.

Mirela’s tears and screams were from the pain this time. And every sound tore him to strips.

But still, he repeated those words. Over and over.

“I reject you...”

His skin felt raw as if he was ripping a part of himself away.

“I, Ascian Lucas, don’t need a luna...”

A lump was stuck in his throat as he shot up in bed. His heart was pounding. It hurt to breathe as he tried to fight off the shadows wrapping around him. His claws were extended, ready to rip apart the perceived danger.

It took him a moment to calm himself as he realized it was the same fucking nightmare. Mirela wasn’t back in his arms and he hadn’t rejected her again. Three years. Three years of this same shit. He woke up in cold sweats with the nightmare causing physical pain as if someone was stabbing him in the heart over and over again.

He tensed when he felt a hand on his back until he realized he wasn’t alone. He turned to face the woman and growled. He didn’t know who the hell she was, but she knew better than to spend the night. She should have left the moment he was done with her. Those were the fucking rules.

The woman looked away from his gaze. He didn’t miss the tremble in her hand as she snatched it away from him.

“Why are you here?”

No one was supposed to see him like this. Trembling, sweaty and out of control as if he wasn’t the strongest alpha. Mirela had made him weak.

“I... I thought you’d need me again, Alpha,” she answered.

She was still naked and the sheet had fallen away from her body. With his enhanced senses he could see all her curves. They were full and luscious and brought a little life to his groin. He knew why. The curves were similar to Mirela’s. He knew that was why he had chosen this nameless female to warm his bed tonight, though he couldn’t even recall how they had ended up back here. He couldn’t even recall if he’d even got off. But that didn’t matter, because no matter how good she had been, she would never be like Mirela. He was cursed to be forever unsatiated.

“Get out,” he snarled.

The nameless woman shot out of his bed and gathered her clothes. He didn’t bother to check if she had let herself out as he got out of bed to walk over to the drinks cabinet on the other side of his bedroom. He poured himself a couple of straight shots, one after the other, before he decided to take the whole bottle over to the chair.

Weak. He was weak now. A little female was bringing him to his knees every night, and that just wouldn’t do. He needed to fix this. To fix it, he needed only one thing and it’s her. Mirela Elizabeth, the woman he caused the greatest pain.. But three years had passed and she was missing. He couldn’t find her, every time he tried he failed.

While drinking his eyes slowly fell on the corner of the drawer, he stared at it clenching his jaws. Three years, but yet he’s kept it without throwing away. Everything in him was aching to throw what she left behind away but he couldn't bring himself to do it. And that angered him as much as the nightmares. He didn't need her! Everything was perfect before she had come into his life.

He closed his eyes, as he was pulled back to memories of three years ago.

A woman who was looking at herself in the mirror, wearing a long princess like white nightgown, looked back at him with a smile while removing her pearl earrings that she was wearing.

“I don’t trust you tonight, so I’m taking these off.” She smiled at him playfully.

“Yeah, you shouldn't trust me.” With a smirk he walked towards her and grabbed her from her waist as he threw her onto the bed while listening to her sweet giggles.

With a heart throbbing pain, Ascian opened his eyes and looked at his drawer for one last time before finishing the whole bottle.

“Mirela, where are you? My life is a hell ever since you left, you need to fix this,” he muttered. He couldn’t forget those beautiful blue eyes of her and especially how gorgeous she was when she smiled at him full of love.

She had loved him.

Everything was gone now and replaced with regret, pain and emptiness. She had been missing for three years but she didn’t leave alone. She forcefully took his soul with her while leaving his body empty. With no feelings, no love and no gentleness. He had not expected such devastation.

Ascian got up and looked at the clock, it was already three in the morning. Everyone was peacefully sleeping while he was suffering from what he had done three years ago. Taking a few steps towards the huge glass window, he stopped in front of it looking outside.

His eyes were calm but deadly.

“I will find you, no matter how far you live,” he swore.